Virus shown to attack cancer cells in lab

Researchers at St. Louis University recently disclosed that a new virus has been shown to attack cancer cells in the lab.

"This was a little unexpected," said Dr. William S. M. Wold, the SLU researcher who brought the virus onto the team. "We initially introduced the adenovirus, Bruce, to some cancer cells at Kelly's Irish Pub. Sure, Bruce was a little distant and aloof, but we figured that was just because he was shy. He left the party early, what with starting the new job the next morning and all, but he shook hands all around and everything seemed cool."